Listening to phone

What was that? Exqueeze me? Baking powder? (AKA misheard lyrics)

My 5 year old daughter has just learnt a new song (courtesy of a schoolfriend). Now normally I’d be extremely concerned if I heard her singing the lyrically suggestive “I’m Sexy And I Know It” LMFAO song, however she has thankfully been taught a far more sedate (and hilarious when you consider the spoof possibilities) version:

“I’m Sixty And I Know It”

Which got me thinking about the various songs I’ve heard misquoted lyrically. Many of them courtesy of my wonderful Mum – who has a real knack for malapropisms. Here’s just a few of them (and you do have to listen to the originals to work out how these came about – YouTube / Spotify / iTunes time!)

Sade’s “Smooth Operator” was apparently “Smooth My Umbrella” (though quite why someone would feel the need to smooth their umbrella is beyond me).

“Big Fun” by Inner City with the line “The party’s just begun, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeaah. We’re having big fun” does, to be fair to my Mum’s ears, sound like the vocalist is singing The party’s just begun, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeaah. We’re having meatballs” – which in certain parts of Italy may well be “big fun”.

A friend of mine’s daughter rocks out to Kings Of Leon’s “Sex On Fire” though rather than the original “Your sex is on fire!” line, she goes for the far more daring (and indeed more grammatically correct) “Your socks are on fire!”.

And then my own misheard mishap…

Until the age of about fifteen I believed the lyrics to the “modern” hymn “Lord Of The Dance” – which has the line:
“Dance then, wherever you may be, I am the Lord of the dance, said he”

were, to my (relatively) young ears, in fact:
“Dance then, wherever you may be, I am the Lord of the dance settee”
I used to have this vision of a “funky sofa” – and still to this day I think my version is a better one… (not a particularly edifying hymn, but a fine “inclusive” Christian song for the clubbing fraternity).

Anyone got any of their own misheard lyrics that they’d care to share?


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  1. Bec · May 3, 2012

    I used to enjoy singing along to Tracy Chapman’s ‘Fast Car’ with the lyrics ‘and your arms and legs wrapped round my shoulder’. Eventually someone did point out to me that this would probably result in a car crash and I discovered the real line reads ‘and your arm felt nice wrapped round my shoulder’.

  2. Mr T · May 3, 2012

    Oh yes, and another one! The Monkee’s “Daydream Believer”, I always used to think the line was “My shaving razor’s cold and it stinks”. My Dad however pointed out that this was an unlikely state for a razor to end up in (this was the era before I’d started sprouting facial hair). Once I’d started shaving myself I understood why it was “stings” and not “stinks”!