A year (and a bit) down the road…

Well now, that was a bit of a hiatus wasn’t it? Much has changed, moved town, moved house (rather obviously) and got three distinct business entities on the boil. All under the umbrella of RedLED ProductionsRedLED Productions Logo Square [425x 425].
RedLED Productions undertakes digital media projects such as video filming and editing. The attention to detail and quality is also applied to the creation of bespoke DVD and BluRay discs, fully packaged and presented. Promotional, training and educational productions have been commissioned and delivered. We also undertake VHS to DVD transfers, retrieiving old memories and presenting them in a new medium that is far less susceptible to degradation. A full menu system, with chapters, modern graphics and broadcast quality transitions means that your old video footage has never looked better. If it’s your typical long, boring, uncut home video we can (if you wish) edit it down to a more engaging viewing experience.

Often promotional and training work requires a voiceover to instruct, clarify or extol – which is where the next department comes into play, Mark Tilyard – Voice Actor.Mark Tilyard - Voice Actor (bigger)
Capable of many voice styles and accents, Mark Tilyard – Voice Actor produces audio for audiobooks (for example on Amazon and iTunes), animation, commercials, infomercials, auto attendant (phone systems), and “voice of God”-type speech for live events. Pretty much any requirement for a male voice can be undertaken (my “female voice” is fine for comedy, pantomime and cartoons – but not particularly convincing for serious work 🙂 ).

You’ll notice that sound is a common thread running through these various services which brings us to the final provision available from RedLED Productions. Groovemachine featuring MrGroove is a fairly long-winded way of saying “mobile disco” but it is certainly a lot more fun!
GroovemachineWith music from the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond (00s and 10s don’t quite have the same ring to it – roll on the 20s!) Groovemachine has something for everyone. Having been a radio DJ since the late 80s and running discos since 1990 I have a lot of experience of how to ensure an event runs smoothly and is enjoyed by all. Weddings, birthday parties, children’s parties, promo events have all been undertaken. Fancy a groovy 70s night, a vibrant 80s night or a retro 90s night? Themed birthday parties can be great for recapturing those memories of your “clubbing days” – your playlist suggestions / wishes are willingly incorporated into the set so you can be assured your favourite songs will get you and your friends on the dance floor. Take a look at the dedicated website for testimonials / reviews of my work.

Video, Audio, Voice and Text

Lights Camera Action - Video Audio Voice and Text
Technical Media Services?

Video-Audio-Production-Voice-Over-Voice-Acting-Copywriting Services?

It’s tricky to come up with an umbrella term that covers all these areas of expertise, if you have a good idea do let me know. Suffice to say that I am now transitioning my skills that were previously available only to a select number to a national (international?) market. So if you require generation of an audio or video epic, voicing for your latest production, telephone “on hold” system voicing, some engaging “target audience” text for your website or assistance on any of the above click the “Contact” option in the menu above and get in touch. I look forward to hearing from you.

 

Addendum: Aha! Finally worked out a better umbrella term for all of this: Digital Media Services.

Cowboys in the digital age [aka RedSave Voucher Pass Scam, sorry “Scheme”]

RedSave - don't deal with these cowboys - they'll enrol you into a voucher scheme that'll take £19.95 per month from your credit card - without your permission - and ignore email requests to be removed from their scam - sorry I mean "scheme").

RedSave – don’t deal with these cowboys – they’ll enrol you into a voucher scheme that’ll take £19.95 per month from your credit card – without your permission – AND they ignore email requests to be removed from their scam – sorry I mean “scheme”).

I like to think that I’m a fairly savvy online buyer – knowing my way round Google Shopping to narrow in on the bargains for instance (and checking the postage and packing costs – watch out, some of them are hidden right up until you tap your card details in!) So to become a victim of what can only be described as a scam does somewhat dent my Netizen (remember that 90’s term – for a “citizen on the ‘net”!?) pride.

Well I searched for a BluRay disc to find the best price and came up with a good price from RedSave – who were on Google Shopping so had at least some form of credibility (though obviously you should still check things out). They had a secure GeoTrust backed HTTPS:// server offering (another tick) and a fairly well laid out site so I committed to the purchase. What I didn’t do (which I admit was, up until this point in my online buying checklist, not a standard move) was to read the reviews on Google Shopping – oh how I wish I had…..

They’re not on Google Shopping any more it seems – I wonder why!? But here are the TrustPilot reviews.

Suffice to say you’re not going to save with RedSave – perhaps the “red” denotes the blood they’re going to suck from you – or your debit card balance as they keep withdrawing a £19.95 “membership fee” from your card every month? There is mention of this scheme in your email confirmation but the information is certainly very well laced into the text and site to make it innocuous-looking. Finding out the actual T&Cs for this scheme however requires MANY clicks and a law degree to decipher it.

So, weeks prior to the elapsing of my “Free 30 day” membership, I emailed cancellation notice. I sent it to support@redsave.com – an address that imbues confidence that the recipient would be able to help (that is what support groups do isn’t it?) and could deal with my notification. What happened?

RedSave ignore my cancellation request and withdraw £19.95 from my credit card

So “nil pwah” (or “nil points” for our non-Eurovision Song Contest viewers) to RedSave. I inform my card company – they tell me that they will block further payment requests. Next month “REDSAVEPASS.COM” has indeed not made a withdrawal from my card (YAY!), however “REDSAVE08453880287” have made a withdrawal of £19.95 (WHAAAAT!?)

Now if this is not straightforward evidence of a company that is NOT being straightforward then I don’t know what is.

My credit card company have assured me that this matter will be resolved – but really why should they NEED to get involved. Businesses like this cause unwarranted anguish and aggravation by not being above board and honest in their dealings. There should be a law against hoodwinking – to deal with all these companies (both corporate cowboys and little old sole trader cowboys) for skirting along the edges of the law. Actually the term “cowboys” is unfair to the hardworking livestock wranglers that ride around the arid parts of North America – let’s call it as it is – more befitting would be “con artists”, “confidence tricksters”, or “shady dealers”. They, let’s face it, escape being labelled criminals because they are “playing the system” and know which side of the line they need to remain on. The government ranted earlier in the year about being ethical with regards tax payment (or avoidance – Google, Starbucks etc, etc.) and this whole “what can we get away with” mentality is where it all stems from. Why can’t people just do an honest days work for an honest days pay!?

Dear Microsoft: A capital J does NOT equal a smiley!

Old Skool SmileyI don’t know about you but I’ve been wondering why people now and then have been putting a capital J at the end of their emails. It got to the point where I became so bemused that I thought I’d Google it.

What’s the juice J?

Whaddya know!? – Microsoft in all their pseudo-omnipotent arrogance decided that the good old : ) (the punctuation marks of a colon and a right parenthesis – otherwise known as a “smiley”) were no longer acceptable to convey a smile in character form. Instead MS software automatically replaces the straightforward, universally recognised and platform independent, two ASCII character smiley with their WingDings font version – which for anyone not using Outlook / Microsoft email systems translates as a capital “J”. Well done! [slow hand clap]….

Yet again Microsoft have taken the view that EVERYONE uses their software (sorry to report guys, your market is receding) and have actually put a “stick in the spokes” of what was already a perfectly acceptable means of communicating within email that something was a joke or lighthearted. Let’s hope nothing too inflammatory is sent from a Microsoft email system – the presence of a capital J is not going to water down the message that was originally intended as a joke!

😉     <— I wonder what they’ll do with the winking smiley!?

English is tricky (aka “The Unconscious Customer” or “Are you conscious of your conscience?”)

I was reading about H&M’s environmental and socio-economic awareness (steady on!) which they’re running under the banner H&M Conscious. The first heading of their “Conscious Actions Highlights from 2012” PDF (found in their “highlights from 2012” link) reads: “Commitment One: Provide fashion for conscious customers” – see below:

H&M banner title reads "Commitment One: Provide fashion for conscious customers" - I find conscious customers are always far more likely to buy than unconscious ones...

I find conscious customers are always far more likely to buy than unconscious ones…

Immediately it struck me (as it would most native English speakers) that they were using the wrong word! The majority of people will understand ‘conscious’ as “to be alive”, whereas ‘conscientious’ (the adjective of ‘conscience’) as meaning “done according to one’s inner sense of what is right” (which is what I think they were getting at). Replacing “Conscious” with “Conscientious” throughout their copy would not only be more accurate but also convey far more commitment to the central theme of sustainability. I realise that conscious can also mean “to be aware of” but it generally infers far less concern than conscientious does. Perhaps H&M wish to infer more of a “lighter touch” to the subject matter and distance themselves from too much of a commitment? Reneging on the published mandate would be disconcerting – according to the mighty Wiki H&M aren’t out of the woods when it comes to controversies (sadly some of them relate to the very subject that this “Conscious” promotion addresses).

Now my Swedish (H&M’s home country) is not too hot either so I’m certainly not going to ridicule H&M for their faux pas (fashion-wise or not). But it got me thinking as to how much of a minefield the English language is. If you look up the meanings of conscience and conscious the definitions do get close to one another (e.g. conscious: fully aware of or sensitive to something / conscience: an inner feeling or voice viewed as a guide) so it’s not just a matter of using the right word, it’s also a question of context. The only effective way context can be fully understood is by speaking and reading English regularly – as it’s also a language that is constantly evolving.

A prime example of this “word evolution” is the word gay – very few people will now use it to talk about the prettiness of a flower or the vibrant colours of a dress yet those meanings still exist in the dictionary – though very much lower in the definitions order from the more recognised meanings pertaining to homosexuality. I wonder if this redefining of a word’s meaning occurs in other languages?

And then there’s spelling – a pet subject of mine. Someone pointed out a really great example of how the English language flagrantly disregards rules that have been created to help de-mystify it:

I before E….

…except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbour.

Again, only learning these spellings (or relying on spellcheck) will ensure that you get it rite – and an example there of why you shouldn’t rely on spellcheckers 😉

As a language English is tricky and I have the greatest of admiration for those learning English as a second language – it’s such a “twisty turny thing” (© Black Adder – BBC TV comedy, uniquely British in content – Google it!). If you are a student battling your way through English Language studies I have no better suggestion for improving your vocabulary and use of it other than reading and viewing English publications / productions whenever you get the opportunity and talking to as many English people as you can! I’m not going to address the whole English / British vs “American English” subject as that would take up a whole post on its own – suffice to say that England invented the language and America “tweaked” it (mainly on spellings and “inventing” words). Through watching BBC (and other UK production companies’) programmes you may NEVER understand the “British humour” (which is not just Monty Python) but you will gain a method of keeping up with the evolving language and hopefully be entertained on the way 🙂

“Thatch” – The Iron Lady

Margaret Thatcher's Spitting Image PuppetI was never a “Thatcherite” (as was the term back in the 80’s). Ben Elton, popular “alternative comedian” (another dated term) at the time used to call her “Thatch” in his winding spiel – which was supposed to be disrespectful but actually over time sounded more like a chirpy nickname. Russian media came up with the term “The Iron Lady” – which she apparently was greatly fond of. I certainly wasn’t a fan of many of the policies that came about through her term, however now she has departed this mortal coil the tributes are being published and I for one was not aware of this interview she gave in 1987. It certainly rings extremely true for our current “society” and says a lot about personal “self-worth” and responsibility. Anyway enough of my rambling, read the interview below:

Interview from 1987

“I think we have gone through a period when too many children and people have been given to understand ‘I have a problem, it is the government’s job to cope with it!’ or ‘I have a problem, I will go and get a grant to cope with it!’; ‘I am homeless, the government must house me!’ and so they are casting their problems on society and who is society?

“There is no such thing! There are individual men and women and there are families, and no government can do anything except through people and people look to themselves first.

“It is our duty to look after ourselves and then also to help look after our neighbour and life is a reciprocal business and people have got the entitlements too much in mind without the obligations.”

Margaret Thatcher

Now don’t get me wrong – I believe there IS such a thing as society, it just needs to be worked on and not relied upon – we all share that responsibility and we make it what it is.

Lessons in Obsequiousness

Definition of obsequious

adjective

obedient or attentive to an excessive or servile degree. Fawning.


Definition of fawning

adjective

displaying exaggerated flattery or affection; obsequious:

fawning adoration

fawning interviews with Hollywood celebs


As you may already have worked out from previous posts I’m fairly attuned to the “golden rule” of treating others like you expect to be treated – more correctly referred to as Matthew 7 v12 (The Message). This also extends to written communication.

Occasionally I may encounter a problem with an item I’ve bought, if it’s within a year of purchase I would take the time to write to the manufacturer to provide them an opportunity to resolve the issue. With a satisfactory result everyone wins – the customer has nothing but praise for the company in light of their positive customer care and product commitment and the company gains one of the most powerful sources of advertising – personal recommendation (aka “word of mouth”).

Now it makes sense that if you wish to get a company’s attention that you present a warm and encouraging letter rather than a rant throwing in comments like “unbelievable rubbish”or “what a piece of junk”. Hence the wording of a recent letter to a bag manufacturer (I’ll anonymise the company and staff names to save embarrassment).

Hello,

Being a staunch [bag manufacturer company] fan my wife bought a bag from the Gunwharf Quay store, Portsmouth in February (photo attached). All the [bag manufacturer company] products she’s bought have always been an investment and hardwearing items. Unfortunately after less than a year the bag has developed a faulty zip. She has persevered with reviving the zip but sadly it keeps failing. I’m well aware manufacturing faults can occur but to become an issue in under a year is I’m sure you’ll agree not what one would expect of a [bag manufacturer company] branded bag.

Regrettably we no longer have the receipt for the bag and therefore are unable to return it to the shop. We do however have the credit card statement showing the purchase on the 15th February 2012.

We respect the quality values that the [bag manufacturer company] brand attracts and we look forward to hearing your response and solution to this situation.

Best regards,
Mark Tilyard

So not totally sycophantic, just a complaint letter written from a positive perspective. The reply I received however I still, to this day, can’t work out whether it was written with tongue firmly in cheek, dripping in sarcasm or a genuine response. If the latter, then here, ladies and gentlemen, is your lesson in obsequiousness. (I recommend having a sick bag to hand before reading below).

Hi Mark,

Thank you for your email with reference to the [model name] bag attached. I hope yourself and your wife are well?

Firstly I would like to take this opportunity to offer you my sincerest apologies, I cannot convey how sorry I am for the disappointment and subsequent inconvenience this issue has caused. At [bag manufacturer company] we strive to ensure our products are of the highest possible standards and are built to last so I was very disappointed to hear of the problems you have encountered. I would like to assure you that we value all customer feedback positive and negative as this is a vital part of our continued development and growth. All of your comments will be passed on to the relevant department for their future consideration so I would like to thank you for taking the time to contact us.

I would like to add how delighted I was to read how loyal you are to [bag manufacturer company], and how you respect [bag manufacturer company] as a brand. It’s such a shame when faults like this occur but we are very keen to rectify and resolve issues like this as soon as possible.

As you have kindly explained this bag was purchased in the wonderful Gunwharf Quay’s store, and would advise you to refer back to the store if at all possible. I have contacted the store and they are more than happy to do an exchange for you. If you could kindly take the statement as proof of purchase, that would also be greatly appreciated.

Again I would like to highlight how appreciative I am for the feedback you have provided. And can assure you it will be passed onto management.

If in the meantime I can be of any further assistance, please don’t hesitate to contact me directly. I will be delighted to help.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your week.

Kind regards and best wishes

[Minnie Moke]
ADVANCED CUSTOMER SERVICE ADVISOR


Feeling queasy? Let me know what you think – genuine reply or taking the mickey?

Lloyds TSB Customer (couldn’t) Care (less)

UNBELIEVEABLE! (but sadly true). Today I put my Barclays debit card in the left hand ATM at Lloyds TSB Park Gate. It slops in, rather than the usual glide. It’s stuck – I can tantalisingly see it but it’s out of finger reach (and dang it I forgot my tweezers / pliers / ATM repair kit today).

Plan 2 I think to myself, I’ll push it further in with another card and hope it’ll then eject. Card has now disappeared, screen says insert card, no ejected card. I spy a Lloyds TSB employee just about to enter the premises..

Me: “Excuse me would you be able to..”
Lloyds TSB Employee (with a distinct, overpowering whiff of self importance): “Not working sir, not working.”

Now, from that short utterance I thought he meant HE wasn’t working i.e. off duty, but without another word he just unlocked the side access door and bustled into the bank.

Me (to the disappearing heel of the Lloyds TSB employee): “Thanks for your help.”

So now I’m left weighing up my options outside a resolutely closed Lloyds TSB – I scour the ATM for a phone number – nothing. Do I walk off not knowing whether the machine will suddenly eject my card into the hands of a potential card fraud criminal? Whilst working through my plan another Lloyds TSB (weren’t they, in a previous incarnation, “the bank that likes to say YES”?) employee arrives for work. Huffily Mr Self Important reappears at the door and then deigns to walk over to me.

Mr Self Important (now managing to string words together into a more informative sentence): “I’m afraid the machine is broken. There’s a gate that stops you putting your card in.”
Me: “Well it didn’t stop me putting mine in.”
Mr Self Important: “Who do you bank with?”
Me (mentally predicting the response from the answer I’m about to provide): “Barclays”
Mr Self Important (almost with relief as he doesn’t have to expend any effort with a non-Lloyds TSB customer): “Well we’ll have to destroy the card as there’s no way of knowing that the card belongs to you.”

The fact that I have a wallet full of cards with my name on including a driving licence with a picture of my face on it is apparently not acceptable (!)

Me: “Right. Well, thanks a lot!”

I turn to leave and then can’t help but turn and ask:

Me: “Don’t you think it would’ve been more helpful if you could have put some tape over the slot and left a message saying the machine wasn’t working?”
Blank face from Mr Self Important as he motions to turn his back on me.
Me: “Well? Don’t you?”
Mr Self Important (without much conviction): “Yes I suppose so.”

I don’t think he said “s’pose so” – but that was the level of conviction in his delivery, i.e. he couldn’t care less. Evidently if any customer care exists in the Park Gate Lloyds TSB it is not within the skillset of this gentleman – the possible irony of it is that he could’ve been the bank manager.

And that’s just my point. If you work for a business, charity, organisation or whatever – you REPRESENT them (at the very least whilst you’re on duty / about to go on duty). Your actions can have huge impacts on the perception of the organisation you work for. Poor perception equals diminished brand which in turn equals diminished market share which extrapolated to worst case scenario equals end of organisation. It’s like that quote about the butterfly flapping it’s wings in South America which alters the atmosphere a tiny amount but through the application of the chaos theory can create a tornado in another part of the world. Simply put “Every little thing counts” (and to misquote The Police song “Every Little Thing He Did Wasn’t Magic”).

The double, triple? (I don’t know I’ve lost count) irony to all of this is that the card stuck in the ATM is a Barclays personalised card (nifty offering they’ve dreamt up) with a picture of my family on it – including me grinning into the sunlight. Now unless I’m attempting to become the next Derren Brown I think it’s safe to say that a card with my picture on it IS my card! Harrumph!

I’m intrigued to know what the reaction would have been should I have had the ‘honour’ of being a Lloyds TSB customer…  Certainly from experiencing their unique brand of customer care firsthand I can vouch that I won’t be joining a queue to move my money into their coffers anytime soon.

(sung – for those that remember the advert – a fitting parody): “Lloyds TSBeeeeeee – the bank likes to saaaaay NO (now get lost!)”

The erosion of accountability

Now, let’s get this straight from the outset – I am not a politically motivated person. I do however have a strong sense of what is right and what is wrong. When I see someone being bullied my pseudo “spidey sense” (© Spider-Man) kicks in and I do my utmost to stop it (the bullying that is). In the tricky task of serving cake I take great care in distributing it evenly amongst the cake-indulging participants.

Let’s (hypothetically) say I’ve signed a contract to supply torches. If I have agreed to sell 15 torches at £1 each then I’m due £15 once I have supplied the torches. But what if I can only manage to supply 10 torches – how much should I be paid? That’s right – £10.

Let’s extrapolate that very basic (and fair) concept. G4S (the resultant security company from the merger of Group 4 and Securicor) won the contract to supply security services to the London 2012 Olympics. This contract is reported to be worth £284m (that’s Two Hundred and Eighty Four Million pounds – a great deal more than Dr Evil’s ‘One Million Dollars’). You may well be aware that G4S failed to supply the 10,400 security personnel it promised through this contract. When the proverbial hit the fan they confessed that they had only recruited 4,200 staff. They grovelled to the UK government, LOCOG, and probably Zeus on Mount Olympus promising to provide a revised figure of 7,000 guards…. they managed to scratch up 6,000 (I don’t know about you but I always find it prudent to under-promise and over-deliver or at least set achievable targets rather than disappoint my clients).

So let’s apply the model. £284m for 10,400 security guards, that works out at £27,307.69 per guard (though I’m sure the guards themselves don’t get anything like this wage).

G4S: (on phone to LOCOG) “Whoops we seem to be short by 6,200 people! We’ve got, hmmm (calculator keys tappity tap tap) 4,200.”
LOCOG: “Aggh! ((aside, cupping hand over phone): “Quick, call uncle David we need help”) OK, so how many can you rustle up before the games?
G4S: “Oooh, 7,000?
LOCOG: “Yes? 7,000?”
G4S: “Yep, defo.”

….three weeks later

G4S: (back on phone) “Erm 6,000”
LOCOG: “Whaaaaat!?”

Now applying our very basic economic model what should G4S receive for 6,000 ‘yer name’s not down you’re not coming in’ (sorry, couldn’t resist) staff? Well we’ve already established that each G4S guard has a distributed value of £27,307.69 –

thus 6000 x 27307.69 = 163846140

Yep, G4S should be paid £163,846,140 – One Hundred and Sixty Three Million, Eight Hundred and Forty Six Thousand, One Hundred and Forty pounds. Which is £120m (plus a hundred thousand or so – but what’s that between friends!?) less than the contract total value.

How much is G4S reported to likely lose from their contracted total payment?

“Up to” £50m

How is that fair? How can a company under-deliver on a contract and yet not receive a proportional payment for services / goods supplied?

In the current economic climate (don’t get me started about “the erosion of the UK summer”!) we are all told to “Keep Calm and Carry On”, to make cuts, reduce profit margins etc. Whilst the everyday populace seem to take this on-board and plough on there seems to be a layer of the UK’s inhabitants with total disregard for this and who seem to have undergone a moral and ethical lobotomy. This “looking out for number one” mentality has gone beyond self-preservation and descended into blatant greed and disregard for anyone else. Now don’t misunderstand me – I’m equally not advocating a lazy, feckless (definition: no sense of responsibility), welfare dependant population. Everyone should just pull their weight and do their best at their given task (see the fourth paragraph of my post Thank You Steve (#ThankYouSteve)).

I’m not sure what the answer is to those who choose not to care – apart from maybe wandering down the yellow brick road to see if the Wizard of Oz can provide them with a heart. At the end of the day it boils down to accountability – but when the moral compass has become so badly bent (ahem, banking industry) it’s going to take a fair bit of time to straighten things out. Let’s hope some bastions of ethical business can rise from the mire and lead the way soon.

What was that? Exqueeze me? Baking powder? (AKA misheard lyrics)

My 5 year old daughter has just learnt a new song (courtesy of a schoolfriend). Now normally I’d be extremely concerned if I heard her singing the lyrically suggestive “I’m Sexy And I Know It” LMFAO song, however she has thankfully been taught a far more sedate (and hilarious when you consider the spoof possibilities) version:

“I’m Sixty And I Know It”

Which got me thinking about the various songs I’ve heard misquoted lyrically. Many of them courtesy of my wonderful Mum – who has a real knack for malapropisms. Here’s just a few of them (and you do have to listen to the originals to work out how these came about – YouTube / Spotify / iTunes time!)

Sade’s “Smooth Operator” was apparently “Smooth My Umbrella” (though quite why someone would feel the need to smooth their umbrella is beyond me).

“Big Fun” by Inner City with the line “The party’s just begun, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeaah. We’re having big fun” does, to be fair to my Mum’s ears, sound like the vocalist is singing The party’s just begun, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeaah. We’re having meatballs” – which in certain parts of Italy may well be “big fun”.

A friend of mine’s daughter rocks out to Kings Of Leon’s “Sex On Fire” though rather than the original “Your sex is on fire!” line, she goes for the far more daring (and indeed more grammatically correct) “Your socks are on fire!”.

And then my own misheard mishap…

Until the age of about fifteen I believed the lyrics to the “modern” hymn “Lord Of The Dance” – which has the line:
“Dance then, wherever you may be, I am the Lord of the dance, said he”

were, to my (relatively) young ears, in fact:
“Dance then, wherever you may be, I am the Lord of the dance settee”
I used to have this vision of a “funky sofa” – and still to this day I think my version is a better one… (not a particularly edifying hymn, but a fine “inclusive” Christian song for the clubbing fraternity).

Anyone got any of their own misheard lyrics that they’d care to share?